Hello James, I liked your recount of your weekend in Nelson playing touch. Maybe next time you could make sure you have a bit more detail and try to use some different words instead of 'and' so much. Do you think touch was fun? Was that your first time playing touch in Nelson?. I wish I went to Nelson to play touch.
Thank you Tyler I will take the advice.Next time I will use different words. I have only played touch once in Nelson but for other sport I have played in Nelson Thanks.
Hi James, ITs Billie here. I really enjoyed it in Nelson too. It sounds like your team played really well. It is really good that you are participating and contributing to West Coast Touch. Your next step is to re-read your work carefully. Maybe you could start using differnt word starters to start your sentences. When I do discriptve writting I fall into the same trap(starting with the same word). It always helps me to go to a website called Synonyms. It comes up with a variety of words, that all mean the same thing. I cant wait for touch in Cristchurch too.👍 Ka pai!!
Hi James, I like your recount of your weekend in Nelson playing touch. You could work on your sentences and stop using and so much. you should of added what teams you versed and who won and lost. Your weekend writing is great, I'm just wondering if touch was fun? By Ethan
Hi James, I like your weekend writing. It sounds like that you had alot of fun up in Nelson playing touch. Good job on you and your team on winning agaist Nelson B, Nelson A and Canturbery. MAybe you cloud have a look on my learning blog t is at http://karorolukenr.blogspot.com
Hi its Jack from Karoro school but there were parts that you spelled some of the words wrong. Like the part where it said we had a little brake I thought that you meant that you had a little drake. Other than that it was a good peace of writing.
Thank you for the comment.Next time I will try to spell the words right and have some more full stops and capital letters so you can under stand better.
Hello James, I liked your recount of your weekend in Nelson playing touch. Maybe next time you could make sure you have a bit more detail and try to use some different words instead of 'and' so much. Do you think touch was fun? Was that your first time playing touch in Nelson?. I wish I went to Nelson to play touch.
ReplyDeleteThank you Tyler I will take the advice.Next time I will use different words. I have only played touch once in Nelson but for other sport I have played in Nelson Thanks.
DeleteHi James,
ReplyDeleteITs Billie here. I really enjoyed it in Nelson too. It sounds like your team played really well. It is really good that you are participating and contributing to West Coast Touch. Your next step is to re-read your work carefully. Maybe you could start using differnt word starters to start your sentences. When I do discriptve writting I fall into the same trap(starting with the same word). It always helps me to go to a website called Synonyms. It comes up with a variety of words, that all mean the same thing. I cant wait for touch in Cristchurch too.👍
Ka pai!!
Hi James, I like your recount of your weekend in Nelson playing touch. You could work on your sentences and stop using and so much. you should of added what teams you versed and who won and lost. Your weekend writing is great, I'm just wondering if touch was fun? By Ethan
ReplyDeleteHi James, I like your weekend writing. It sounds like that you had alot of fun up in Nelson playing touch. Good job on you and your team on winning agaist Nelson B, Nelson A and Canturbery. MAybe you cloud have a look on my learning blog t is at http://karorolukenr.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteHi its Jack from Karoro school
ReplyDeletebut there were parts that you spelled some of the words wrong. Like the part where it said we had a little brake I thought that you meant that you had a little drake. Other than that it was a good peace of writing.
Thank you for the comment.Next time I will try to spell the words right and have some more full stops and capital letters so you can under stand better.
ReplyDelete